


The Parting Gift

by ravenhowlett



Series: Home Sweet Home [5]
Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Anger, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crying, Discussions of Childbirth, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Kidfic, Life Discussions, New Baby, Post-Cell Games Saga, Pregnancy, Worried parent, Yelling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-06 19:09:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18857278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravenhowlett/pseuds/ravenhowlett
Summary: Next time on Dragon Ball Z! Goten will be born soon and Chichi and Gohan are left to deal with the fallout of the Cell Games. Will they butt heads or come to common ground?





	The Parting Gift

**Author's Note:**

> This fic took me 5ever to write. I actually started writing it before I started writing Just a Few Hours and that was back in March so like...... yeah. It was actually really emotionally exhausting to write but I put a lot of effort and love into it so I really REALLY hope you guys enjoy it. Happy reading. :)

Cell was dead but so was Goku. Chichi couldn’t believe her ears when Gohan came home from the fight, bloody and alone, explaining that Goku had sacrificed himself. How could he leave her? How could he leave them? What was she going to do?

Chichi blocked out everything else Gohan told her, none of it mattered anyway. Eventually he realized she wasn’t listening to him and he stopped retelling the fight. She had seen most of it on tv and on Baba’s crystal ball, she didn’t need to know more. * When Chichi was able to catch her breath she stood up and leaned against the wall. Her legs felt shaky and her heart felt heavy. She had already lived without Goku once before, how was she expected to do it again? It just wasn’t fair.

Why did Goku always take it upon himself to do the dirty work? Why was he so good? But he didn’t just do the dirty work, did he? He always did the right thing. He put his love for his son in front of his own need to live and he sacrificed himself. Fat lot of good that did, Chichi thought bitterly, considering Cell just materialized again moments later, stronger and more determined to destroy everyone in sight.

Even though Goku didn’t come home, Gohan still did. She needed to snap out of her hysterics and take care of her son. Her son. Her pride and joy, the light of her life. He was here, right in front of her, covered in grime and dried blood and sweat and he was alive. She reached out and held his face in her hands. He looked so much like Goku. She didn’t see it much when he was a toddler, but the older he got now, she could recognize him in Gohan’s eyes and mouth. It was the way he glared at the sun when he did his chores every morning, as if it offended him for being so bright so early; that furrowed eyebrow and the wrinkled nose was just like Goku’s when he trained. And the way his mouth quirked to one side when he was busy or focused…

No. She couldn’t spiral. She wouldn’t. She needed to be present for Gohan. If she couldn’t do it for herself, she would do it for him. After a brief mourning period things would go back to normal and they would carry on together. Chichi would continue raising Gohan as a normal child who didn’t train or fight evil and he would finish his homework and take care of his chores.

That night when Chichi went to bed alone she couldn’t help but stay up and wait, staring at the doorway, hoping against all odds that Goku might appear in their bedroom, ragged and exhausted, but alive nonetheless. He would shower and take her to bed, just as he had the night before and they would make love passionately and enthusiastically, celebrating the earth’s (and their family’s) survival. But she knew he wouldn’t ever come home. When she finally lied down she rolled to his side of the bed and pulled his pillow close and breathed in his scent. It smelled faintly of laundry detergent and sweat but beneath that it was undeniably Goku. He was fresh rain and wet earth and wood smoke and he was everywhere.

* * *

As the weeks passed by Chichi knew that it would be impossible to carry on as normal. She should have realized it sooner but with the stress and grief and nerves all piling on she simply put it out of her mind. But she knew now she wasn’t sick with grief, she was sick with child. She would have to see a doctor to accurately date the conception but she was pretty sure she knew exactly when it was. Roughly four months ago now, when Goku had gotten her to let her guard down after a whole month of awkwardness and nothing.   
This was exactly what she was afraid of before. He had left her with a parting gift. How was she going to tell her father? Or Gohan? How could they not already know by now? Surely they noticed she was starting to look fuller around the middle.

Another week went by. Chichi was able to see a doctor in secret. She’d told her father about her pregnancy beforehand and asked him to watch Gohan in town while she went to her appointment. It was just as she suspected, she was in her second trimester at four and a half months along. The baby was about the size of an avocado. Her morning sickness was expected to subside in a few weeks. Her belly would only get bigger.

She decided to wait one more day before telling Gohan. One day all to herself where she could cry and lament Goku’s absence from this new child’s life and curse him for dying and thank him for his gift of life all at once. The day passed quickly. Now it was evening and it was time to talk.

As they sat down for dinner Gohan had noticed that his mother kept looking at him, only to look away whenever he caught her eye. Why was this so difficult? He’s eleven, he shouldn’t be making her this nervous. She hadn’t even been this nervous to tell her father. She simply blurted it out while she was washing dishes and for a few minutes she was twenty years old again, excitedly wondering if it would be a boy or girl, how she would decorate the nursery, and hoping she would be a good mother. Was she a good mother? She’d let her only child run off to do battle with his father countless times now. Gohan has been through the unimaginable, has seen things no child should ever witness, has felt unbearable pain and loss. No eleven year old should have eyes that old. Eyes as old as his father.

“Mom?” Gohan interrupted her train of thought. She was spiraling. “Is something wrong? You keep staring at me.” He looked down at his bowl in front of him, Chichi wondered if it was to give her privacy to watch him again. “It’s just. You have his expression like if something’s bothering you.”

Always so intuitive. Well, here went nothing. “Nothing’s wrong, Gohan. Although I do have something important to tell you.” She took his silence as a cue to continue. “I’m pregnant. You’re going to be a big brother in about four and a half months from now. Which means you’ll be taking on more responsibility around here. I’ll be needing help taking your old crib out from storage and putting it together, of course that won’t be for a while. And we’ll have to go through all your old baby clothes and see what can be reused, although I don’t yet know what the sex of the baby is so that’s another thing that can wait a bit. Gohan?” He was staring at his hands in his lap now, his lip between his teeth and his chin tucked into his chest, quivering, and his eyes glinting with unshed tears.

“But… why?” He gasped a breath and a tear escaped. He didn’t look up. “And how? When?”

“Your father and I conceived just over four months ago.” Gohan wrinkled his nose at that but didn’t say anything. “And we weren’t really trying to make a baby so this one is a-”

“An accident.”

“That’s quite rude, Gohan. I was going to say that this baby is a surprise. A bit shocking but welcome nonetheless.”

“But. How are you going to raise a new baby without Dad? What if this one turns out wrong because Dad isn’t here?”

Chichi understood the double meaning of Gohan’s words but chose not to address it. His self worth without his father present was a conversation for another day. “Sweetheart, lots of single mothers raise children without fathers. It’s hard work but it’s possible. How do you think Bulma carries on with Trunks whenever Vegeta throws a fit and storms out of Capsule Corp every other week?” Gohan just shrugs. He still hasn’t looked up. “It’s because she has to. A mother will do anything for her child, even if it means raising him alone.”

“Did Dad know before he-before?”

Chichi shook her head, looking down at her plate and pushing her food around. “No, your father didn’t know.”

“Why not? How could you keep this from him? From us?” Gohan’s voice cracked on the last word, his tears falling freely now. “He had a right to know what he was fighting for and you-you just kept it from him! That’s not fair!”

“Sweetheart, I only found out a week ago and I barely had it confirmed by a doctor this morning. Do you really I think I would have kept this a secret from your father if I’d known about it sooner?” He looked down again and shrugged. “Gohan look at me.” She waited until he lifted his chin an inch but he still didn’t look at her. “Even if your father knew I was pregnant before he agreed to fight Cell, he still would have made all the same calls. That’s just who he was. Not just as a man but as a husband and father. He knew he was leaving us behind and he damn well knew that would hurt us. But he still did it. He did it because he didn’t think he had any other choice.”

“It was a stupid choice if you ask me.” There was heat behind Gohan’s words but it got lost in a hiccup full of tears. “I wish he would have been just a little bit stronger. But because he wasn’t he had to go and get himself killed-”

“Gohan, don’t say that!”

“And then I had to deal with it. It’s not fair! I had to be the one to kill Cell. Because Dad wasn’t strong enough to do it! He wasn’t strong enough to protect us so he just took the easy way out by dying!”

“That’s enough!” Chichi slammed her palm down on the table, flinching as the sound echoed in the dining room. Gohan glared at her but didn’t speak again. “Your father believed that he could save us by sacrificing himself. Doesn’t that count for something?”

“Good intentions don’t mean anything if the outcome means that everyone else suffers in the end. Dad intended on killing Cell but all that happened was he died and left everyone else to deal with it!” He left me, Gohan didn’t say. And that was the root of the problem, wasn’t it? That Gohan was left behind.

Chichi was getting to her boiling point now with all this backtalk. She knew Gohan was devastated at the loss of his father, but he knew better than to act this way with her. And to raise his voice at her? Unacceptable. Just when she was going to lay down the law he spoke again.

“I don’t want to be a big brother.” He stood from his seat abruptly as if it had burned him and pushed his dishes away.

“Sit down right now, we are not done speaking and you’ve been quite rude.” She knew dinner was ruined and that the conversation was over but she was always able to hold his attention with discipline when she needed to. “You owe me an apology for this horrible attitude. Right now.” When he didn’t say anything she snapped an angry glare his way. “I mean it! You may be upset about losing your father or the fact that you’re no longer an only child but that does not give you the right to speak to me the way you have. Now apologise.”

For a moment Chichi really thought that Gohan would relent. His facial expression dropped to show regret and guilt before snapping to something more stoic and restrained. He kicked his chair away before he stomped out of the dining room and all the way up the stairs, slamming the door when he reached his bedroom. Chichi was speechless. She didn’t know if she should just leave him alone to cool down so she could talk to him with a level head later, or if she should go right upstairs and discipline him properly. This night had not gone the way she’d hoped. She didn’t have a clue what she hoped for, she thought that the news of a new baby might take their minds off of Goku for a while but it only reminded them of what Goku sacrificed himself for.

Chichi waited five minutes before going upstairs. She didn’t bother knocking on Gohan’s door, knowing he would just be lying on his bed staring at the wall through bleary eyes. But when she stepped into his room he was nowhere to be seen. His window was open and there was a large crack in the wall near the frame of it, as if Gohan had shoved it open with full force. Chichi looked out the window in all directions straining her eyes in the darkness hoping he hadn’t gone too far already. When she didn’t see him right away she quickly ran outside, calling his name but knowing he was too upset to respond if he was still within earshot.

An hour passed and the night was fully dark now, with only half the moon lighting the sky it was hardly enough for Chichi to see where she was going. She knew she was bound to trip sooner or later so she slowed her pace and took more careful steps until she came up to a familiar tree. Their apple tree. There was no sign that Gohan had even come this way so she decided to head back to the house. He would have to come home sooner or later. She would leave his window open for him and they would have to have a discussion about all of this tomorrow morning.

* * *

Weeks went by and before Chichi knew it she was about to enter her sixth month of pregnancy. Gohan wasn’t speaking to her and when he was it was only sarcasm and attitude. He would roll his eyes or deliberately make a mess and leave it for her to clean. Sometimes he would take off in the middle of his chores early in the morning and not return until late evening, leaving Chichi to wonder where he was going, what he was getting up to, if he was causing trouble for others. One morning Chichi had gotten a phone call from Bulma informing her that Gohan had been hanging out there every day for the last week. Apparently he’d told her each day that of course his mom knew he was there and she really didn’t need to call her to make sure she knew he got there okay. Chichi knew if she could rely on anyone right now it would be Bulma. She was a mom too after all.

“Gohan’s upset that I’m pregnant.” Chichi could hear Bulma’s shocked gasp over the line.

“No way! Are you serious? How far-” she paused, making Chichi think that perhaps she wasn’t quite alone where she was speaking. “Um, I mean, for how long?”

“Five and a half months.” She wanted to cry. “Mostly he’s upset that Goku is dead but he’s taking it out on me. I don't know what to do Bulma.”

“Well he’s eleven, the bratty phase was bound to come up sooner or later. I know I was pretty bad at his age. Ugh, the stories my parents could tell.”

“But this is so unlike him. I thought he would be overjoyed at the thought of having a little sibling, a part of Goku, you know? But then it was like all he could think of was what he went through that day. The things he had to do.” Chichi’s voice wavered but she powered through it. “I know I’ll have to talk to him about it. But in the meantime he’s being such a punk. I just want everything to go back to normal. And I know that’s laughable. My alien husband is dead and my half alien preteen son is disrespecting me every chance he gets. And now I’m several months along with another half alien baby. What am I gonna do, Bulma?”

“You could always just match everything he does. If he makes a mess expecting you to clean it just leave it there, show him you’re not his maid. If he ignores you, ignore him back! There’s nothing wrong with a little tough love every now and-Trunks, what’s in your mouth? Show Mommy what you have! Gimme that you little monster! Ugh! Who in their right mind gives a one year old candy? As I was saying, tough love works.”

“You use tough love on Trunks?” Chichi had to laugh. He was barely one. He couldn’t possibly wreak havoc the way a preteen could.

“No way, I’m talking about Vegeta. I got sick of him leaving his wet towels on the bathroom floor waiting for me to pick them up so I just left them there. They piled up for a week and then they magically started making their way into the hamper a foot away. But that’s small stuff. The day after the Cell Games he was still acting like a Grade A asshole so I told him he better step up and start taking care of Trunks and actually acting like a father or else I would kick him out and he wouldn’t have any contact with his son anymore.”

“And that worked?”

“The following morning Trunks was bathed, dressed, and fed by the time I woke up.”

“Hm. I guess I’ll have to give it a try. Do me a favor and give him the phone, will you? It’s time for him to come home.”

Once Gohan had the phone he answered with a curt “What.”

Chichi took a deep breath before answering. Yelling at him over the phone would only have the opposite effect of what she wanted. “Say goodbye to the Briefs and come straight home. I won’t hear any disagreement. I expect to see you home soon so you had better fly fast.” And then she hung up.

She figured she would take this time to start thinking of what she would tell him. How tough was too tough? She didn’t want to hurt his feelings but she wanted to get her point across that he had no right to act this way.

After a short while Gohan came through the front door. He tried to walk past her in the living room but she quickly intercepted him. “We have to talk.”

“I don’t want to talk,” he said rudely as he tried to shove past her.

“That’s good, that means you can listen while I talk. Now sit.” She gestured to the couch and waited for him to sit before she continued. “Here’s what’s going to happen from now on: you’re going to get your chores done at the crack of dawn and then you’re going to bring your books over here and study where I can see you. You’re not going to leave the house whenever you want with no regard to me, and you will start speaking to me with respect. Do I make myself clear?” Gohan didn’t answer. In fact he didn’t even acknowledge her. He just scowled at his shoes and rolled his eyes. “Look at me!”

“What?” There he went with that tone again. “Why can’t you just leave me alone? All you do is nag at me and-”

“Be quiet! Let’s get some things straight here, okay? I’m the adult here and your parent, you are an eleven year old child. All you’ve been doing is giving me lip every time I so much as ask you to put your shoes away. You have absolutely no right to act the way you have been with me. All I want is for you to do as you’re told and to treat me with respect-don’t roll your eyes at me, young man! You would never act this way with your father. If he was here right now-”

“But he’s not!” Gohan snapped at her. “He’s not here to listen to you yell all the time because he’s dead! All you ever did was yell at him. No wonder he always wanted to go off and fight all the time. No wonder he let Cell kill him! He’d rather be dead than be here with you! He knew he would have to come home and hear you yell and complain and nag and he thought dying was the better option!”

“Gohan, that’s enough-”

“If you ask me I think Cell killed the wrong parent! It should have been you!” Gohan realized the impact of his words only after he said them. His face crumpled when he saw her expression change from livid to horrified to disappointed. “I-I mean-I didn’t mean-”

“Stop talking.” Gohan’s mouth snapped shut so quickly she heard his teeth click. “Before you say something that you might regret later.” His eyes were frantic as he watched her. She’d schooled her expression almost as soon as he said it and just stared right back at him. “Go to your room.”

“Mom, I-”

“I won’t say it again.” At that he stood and slowly made his way to his room, looking back at his mom with regret and tears in his eyes. Chichi waited until she heard the soft latch of his door closing before she could react. She exhaled a long breath and collapsed onto the couch. She felt a shudder trying to escape from her chest, a deep burning sensation in her throat, and hot tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

Later that night when Chichi lie in bed, hugging Goku’s pillow to her chest and breathing in what was left of his scent she heard the soft click of a door opening and socked feet stepping quietly down the hallway. Gohan stood outside her door for several minutes most likely contemplating whether he should knock or go back to bed. Part of Chichi hoped he would knock. She knew he didn’t mean what he said, that his words came from his trauma. But another part of her wanted him to stew in his poor choice of words for as long as possible, let him suffer the consequences of saying something he couldn’t take back. If he knocked she could just ignore him and wait until the morning to properly punish him.

But hasn’t Gohan been punished enough?

She couldn’t let him go another minute with the weight of his words on his shoulders. She wouldn’t. She stood from her bed and opened the door and watched all the many emotions pass over his face as he tried to come up with an explanation for why he was outside her door at 2 AM and not in bed. He waited until she gestured for him to sit.

Chichi spoke first. “A month ago all I kept thinking about was how I was going to tell you that you’d be a big brother. Of course I thought of your father too, what he would miss out on, the baby he’d never meet. But… that doesn’t matter, not really. What mattered most to me in that moment was what you would think. I thought that if you had a little brother or sister you might have a reason to smile again. That you might learn how to take the good with the bad. I should have anticipated your reaction. We hadn’t talked about what happened.” She watched him shed a few tears in the scant moonlight peeking through her curtains but didn’t reach out to wipe them, wanting to keep the illusion of privacy that darkness provided.

“I should have talked to you, asked if you were okay. I’m your mother, it’s my responsibility to make sure you’re okay. And I didn’t do that because, well because it hurt too much to think about. It still does. But I can’t even imagine what it was like for you, you witnessed unspeakable violence, committed it too, and I know it’s changed you.” Gohan’s shoulders shook as she spoke but he was completely silent. “I hear you at night, I know you’re hurting. And it’s my job to do my best to take that pain away. I should have helped you process your trauma before I sprung the baby news on you. I think because neither of us were talking about it I just pretended like it was all fine and that you weren’t suffering.”

She paused to take in a breath and clear her throat before her voice wavered. “I gave you one more thing to worry about when you already had a full plate. I thought, ‘Well he’s resilient like his father, he just needs a bit of good news and he’ll bounce back fine,’ but that’s… that’s not how it works. I’m sorry for not asking you how you were feeling, or giving you the chance to come to me to tell me what you were going through. I promise I’ll do better.”

Gohan shifted uncomfortably when she didn’t continue. He took a few breaths to settle his nerves and then spoke. “I owe you an apology. Not… just for what I said earlier but for how I’ve been acting the past few weeks.” He wouldn’t look at her. “I never should have talked to you that way. I’ve been completely disrespectful to you at every chance I get and… And I said and did things I knew would upset you because… I didn’t wanna be the one in pain. But that just made me a bully. And it didn’t fix anything or make me feel better. Made me feel worse actually, seeing how much I was hurting you.”

Chichi took Gohan’s hand but didn’t speak yet, urging him to continue. “I was projecting.” He still couldn’t look her in the eye. “When I said that, about you and Dad and-and Cell, I said it because I knew it would hurt you more if I told you I wish it had been me instead and I couldn’t do that.” His tears and hiccups came in full force. “I couldn’t hurt you like that so I made it about you instead.”

“Gohan.” Had he really just said that?

“It should have been me, Mom! Instead of Dad! He’s only gone now ’cause I wasn’t strong enough to finish the job. But I should have been, I could have done it sooner but I just didn’t have it in me! It’s my fault!”

“Sweetheart, listen-”

“It should have been me; at least then Dad would be here to raise the new baby with you!” He held his face in his hands and completely broke down.

Chichi pulled him into her lap knowing full well he was too big for that now but she didn’t care. She held him tight to her chest and rocked him back and forth, rubbing his back just as she did when he was baby, and just let him cry. He did until he couldn’t anymore, until his throat was tight and his voice was hoarse.

When he was mostly silent again, Chichi spoke. “We both know Daddy would never forgive himself if you had died. He would have lived the rest of his days full of regret and he would have become increasingly reckless until eventually he’d let something happen so he wouldn’t have to hurt anymore. Daddy loved you so much, Gohan, and he had so much faith in you. He knew you would destroy Cell. And guess what. You did. Daddy died because he was afraid he might lose you if he pushed you too hard and so he took a chance. And I’m glad he did it.” Chichi situated them so the were lying in bed now, Gohan on his father’s side but still in her arms.

“How can you say that?” he whispered.

“Because you’re my son, and there’s no one and nothing in the whole universe that can ever challenge my love for you. Not even you.” Gohan frowned then yawned, reminding Chichi that it was the middle of the night. “You need to sleep. You wanna stay here or go back to your own bed? Up to you.”

“I’ll stay here.” He settled deeper into the pillows and Chichi pulled the blanket up to his shoulder, tucking him in and then smoothed his hair down. “I love you Mom, and… I’m sorry. For everything.”

“Shh. It’s over. You sleep now.” Chichi stayed awake long after he fell asleep, thinking about everything from their conversation to Goku’s absence to her unborn child. She only had a few months left before she would be able to hold her new baby and she’d hardly prepared for them. She’d have to have Gohan help her bring the old crib out of storage and rebuild it tomorrow. The sooner she had everything ready, the less stressed out she would be when it came time to give birth.

* * *

“One more month, huh?” Bulma sat on the couch with her bare feet curled under her body, balancing Trunks on one lap and a plate full of sweets on the other and successfully preventing him from stuffing his little cheeks full of cookies. “You ready to push that thing out already?”

Chichi sat on the other end of the couch sipping her tea before placing her cup back on its coaster, nodding enthusiastically at Bulma’s question. “I’m not excited about the labor. We both know how traumatic that part is. But I can’t wait to just have him already.”

“Him? You know something the rest of us don’t?”

“No but I have my suspicions. This pregnancy is really similar to when I was pregnant with Gohan.”

“Well you only have the one to compare it to. And no one we know has ever had a female Saiyan child so. Not much to go on there.” She set her plate on the coffee table in front of her and then manhandled a very squirmy Trunks until his whole body was being squeezed in her embrace, his shrill giggles filling the otherwise quiet room with pure delight at being tickled. When he had enough she set him on the carpet and told him to find Gohan and ask him to take him potty. “What if it’s a girl and this is just how half Saiyan pregnancies are? And how come you didn’t want to find out the sex before hand? Why keep it a secret when you can know ahead of time?”

“I dunno. We wanted to be surprised when Gohan was born. I guess I wanted that again. It’s sort of special to us.”

“How’s Gohan handling it ever since your discussion?”

Chichi sighed. “As well as he can. He still feels guilty about everything but he’s been trying to show me that he’s excited too. I think deep down he is. He just doesn’t really know how to express it. It will hit him once this one is born I think.” Gohan did seem quite conflicted and confused any time the subject of his future baby sibling came up. He wanted to be supportive of his mother and show her that he could be mature enough to be a good big brother. But at the same time he was worried about possible future disasters preying on his family. He’d be distraught if someone came along and split up what was left of his family.

In fact for that reason Gohan had been quite apprehensive to let Piccolo know about his future sibling, worried he might decide to take them away for a year as he did Gohan. Chichi had assured Gohan that Piccolo knew better now than to take any of her children from her again. She would personally kill him if he ever pulled a stunt like that again and that was a promise.

“So what’s your birth plan? You having another home birth or are you gonna do it at the hospital this time?”

“Definitely at the hospital. While I enjoyed having Gohan here at home ‘cause it was private and intimate with only Goku and a midwife, having a hospital birth sounds… safer I guess. It was so difficult and it took so long. If I’m gonna go through all that again I’m gonna make damn sure I get an epidural too.”

Bulma dropped her cookie at that. “Holy Hell, Chichi! Gohan was a natural birth?” Chichi nodded gravely. “I’ve seen his baby pictures, he was huge! In fact Trunks gave me a lot of trouble even with an epidural and he was a big baby too, especially that damned head of his. You’re a rockstar for doing this sober! You think that’s just how Saiyan births normally are?”

“I do now. Jeez, I wasn’t dreading this birth until now, thanks a lot.” They both laughed and then let a comfortable silence fall over them while they sipped their tea and listened to the boys playing in Gohan’s room. Trunks was babbling unintelligible sentences with his limited baby vocabulary and Gohan, bless him, was trying his best to decipher everything he was saying. It was wonderful to see Gohan playing with Trunks and listen to the way he spoke to him. Chichi wondered if he was practicing to be a good big brother. Trunks, though he was a handful as Chichi had witnessed the past several months, and today especially when he threw a tantrum over not wanting Gohan to eat his own last pretzel or sit to his right, seemed to be a good test subject. She hoped Gohan was learning from these experiences and not just seeing them as more reasons to not want a little sibling.

* * *

Labor took far too long this time around. The doctors wanted Chichi to have a c section but she insisted she could do it herself. Bulma, who was there for emotional support and hand holding was worried she’d lose her steam before the home stretch but Chichi proved to everyone and herself that she was stronger than they thought. After almost sixteen brutal hours a baby boy, Goten, was born. He was a whopping eight pounds and nine ounces, was twenty one inches long, and had a full head of downy black hair.

Three days later Chichi was escorted home by Bulma who made sure that she was comfortable and had everything she needed within reach of the sofa in the living room. She stayed for a while to chat and gush over how adorable Goten was and then called Gohan and told him to come home before she left. He’d stayed at the Briefs’ residence during Chichi’s hospital stay so that he wouldn’t have to be home alone the whole time. Not that he couldn’t handle it; Chichi was past worrying about what he could or couldn’t handle, but the thought of him being all alone at home while she brought new life into the world made her feel wrong.

When Gohan finally did get home he quietly crept up the hallway to his mom’s room to see her and his baby brother in a deep sleep. He hadn’t known it would be a boy but it was what he’d hoped for. Goten lied still in his mother’s arms, swaddled tightly in a soft blue receiving blanket. His mouth was pursed and suckled occasionally as if he still had her nipple. Gohan couldn’t really tell much about him from this angle standing by the bed and craning his head to see over his mom lying on her side, her arm draped protectively over Goten’s small body. Goten’s face was still too round and swollen from birth for his features to be very distinctive to someone who didn’t know what he was looking for. Gohan decided he’d wait for his mom to wake up on her own instead of rousing her now to ask her about his new baby brother. In the meantime he went to the kitchen to find that dinner was already prepared. Bulma must have been quite busy while she was here earlier. After a hearty meal he went back to check on his mom again and saw she was finally awake and nursing the baby.

“Hey Mom,” Gohan said quietly as he entered her room and sat on the edge of the bed. He watched her for a brief moment before she looked at him and noticed how tired she looked. She hadn’t looked like this in months, not since… Not since Dad died. “How’re you feeling? Can I get you anything?”

She smiled and held her hand out to grasp his. “Maybe some water. My throat is still pretty hoarse. When did you get home?”

“About an hour ago. You were asleep. I had dinner and I cleaned up the kitchen. You hungry?”

“Oh, what I would do for some chocolate cake right now.” She squeezed his hand in hers and laughed. “Actually I ate dinner before I came over here, Bulma made sure of it. She’s a pretty good nursemaid when she wants to be.” Chichi noticed Gohan staring at his brother. “You want to hold him? He’s in time for a diaper change, you can hold him once he’s clean.” Gohan nodded and watched as she unraveled the bundle in her arms. She pulled her gown back up and snapped it closed at the shoulder and gently lay Goten on the bed. “Bring me the wipes and a diaper from the dresser please. And that pad. She waited to undress the baby until the pad was placed under him. Once his onsie was open and his diaper was off Gohan couldn’t help but notice the lack of a tail on his brother.

“No tail! Did you have it removed?” He sounded shocked but not disappointed.

“He wasn’t born with a tail. I thought he would be, actually. I was a little sad to see it missing. You used to do the cutest thing with your tail when you were a baby.”

“I did?” His cheeks tinted pink and he looked away when she glanced up at him.

“Mhm, no matter how tight we swaddled you, your tail would always find a way out and wrap itself around our wrists when we held you. It was the sweetest thing. In fact you did that until you were about three. I’d hoped he’d do the same but. Maybe it’s for the best.” She smiled sadly. When Goten was back in his blanket she told Gohan to pull up the chair from the corner and get comfortable so she could hand him his brother. He was used to holding Trunks by now but he was much larger and quite a bit more substantial than a newborn.

Goten fussed for a moment but quieted soon enough. His eyes were closed and his face was relaxed as Gohan stroked his finger down the bridge of his nose and the side of his face, feeling the downy fuzz that layered over his skin. He wondered if he was a hairy baby. Goten’s lips curled into a sort of smile and he cooed as Gohan continued to stroke his face. “Has he cried a lot? Dad said I was a cryer when I was a few months old. I hope he won’t be.”

“He cried as soon as he was born and twice more at the hospital but he was pretty calm on the ride home, hasn’t cried once since we’ve been home.” She rose from the bed slowly and waddled to the bathroom. “He moves a lot. He’s been looking around whenever he’s awake, almost like he knew there was someone else waiting to meet him. I think he was expecting you.” When she returned to the bed her hair was brushed and in a neat bun and she smelled faintly of glycerin soap and toothpaste. “How’s he doing?”

“He’s so big. And he looks-I don’t know how he looks actually. He’s cute but. I don’t see…”

“You don’t see Daddy?” He shook his head. “I don’t either. I see a lot of me in his chin. and my dad in those cheeks. But his eyes? That nose? I think we’re seeing Daddy’s parents. I’ll bet that’s his mom’s nose. And those are his dad’s eyes and mouth.”

Gohan shrugged one shoulder and stood up from the chair. He felt pretty confident about holding his baby brother, he didn’t think walking while holding him would be too difficult. He stepped in front of the cracked window and looked out at the trees blowing in the wind. Some leaves were swirling around in a dust devil over by the garden and there were a few squirrels scurrying around the trees but other than that the night was calm. Gohan watched as his baby brother struggled to free his arms from the blanket, wrinkling his nose in in irritation from the fruitless effort but not bothered enough to cry. Finally he opened his eyes and peered up at Gohan and they watched each other.

It was so peaceful standing by the window like this, in fact it as the first time Gohan had felt proper peace in months. His brother seemed to have a calming effect on him. It was so intense, he could feel something bubbling up from his chest. It was a sob. He sucked in a breath but it was more like a gasp. And then the tears came. He let them fall, some landing on Goten’s face, as he pressed his forehead to his brother’s. Gohan loved him so much and it took seeing him in the glow of the moon to realize that. He wanted nothing more than to stand here and hold him close with no one but his mother and the moon bearing witness to his emotions. He decided these tears were a gift to Goten and to his mom, and maybe to his dad too; each tear meant something different. Some of his tears were all the loss he’d experienced in his short life. Others were the peace he felt being home with his mom and brother. But most of them were the immense love he felt for them.

Gohan's heart was still broken and maybe it would always hurt to think of all that he'd lost, but he knew there was time for it to heal now. 

**Author's Note:**

> Gohan is really Going Thru It u guys. He and Chichi never really dealt with Goku's death or the end of the Cell Games so I really wanted to examine how he would cope with having taken a life. Not just killing but having no other choice but to kill. There's a lot of raw anger there and he is still so young. Far too young to be forced into these situations. Also there's no way an 11 year old could just walk away from these experiences completely emotionally and mentally unscathed. There's levels of trauma that haven' been looked at yet. And Chichi wasn't really equipped to handle everything either. She's just a mom who wants her babies to be okay and Damn It she's gonna do what it takes! 
> 
> As always comments and kudos are always welcome. Encouraged even. Also I'd love to know if anyone has a favorite scene that I've written so far. :)
> 
> Come and say hi to me on tumblr at mexican-goku!!!!


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